Hiatus.

I'm sorry I haven't been updating as much as I should be but, nothing's happened. Nothing. I'm assuming the attorney I eMailed is probably on holiday vacation. Wouldn't surprise me. I've noticed when something happens and I need to get in contact with someone, it's usually a Friday evening, or a holiday, when everything is closed.

I'm starting to draft an ROR for the group. Yes, this probably means a backlash from them. My goal now is to remove my family's and my son's information, at the least. If they want to go on barraging me, I'm okay with that. I'm okay with being a target if it gets the other information off.

Ugh. I can't describe the feeling I get when I double-check to see if the information is still there. I keep praying that they got bored and took it down. What is wrong with people? Can someone explain it to me. Why would someone do this? Let alone, a group. Why? That's all I want to know.

Well, we shall see. I have until June of 2006 to finalize this stuff. It's "A year after discovery" which, I found out about all this in June of 2005. So, I'm in no rush to send the ROR. Even though, the longer it stays up, the more people see it, the worse the damage. I don't want to jump into something and cause more problems if I don't have to.

My tip for the day: See that little button on your tower? Usually means "Power off." Go ahead and hit that. Then, when it's turned off, throw the tower out the window. ;)

The story.

Okay, okay. I'm getting complaints that nobody knows what's going on so, here's a Reader's Digest version of why I am here, why this blog is here, and why I am "Jane Doe by choice, IdentityMIA by nature."

I've had stalking problems for quite some time, more than my fair share. I am a victim of 5 real life stalkers, 3 online stalkers, one of the online stalkers is actually a group.

The gist:

First real life stalker was someone I dated a few years ago. It wasn't anything serious, nor did I think the authorities needed to know. Just a few phone calls. Eventually, the person let go, moved on. That was that.

Second real life stalker was someone I had never met and just ran into at a gas station. He followed me home after I left the gas station, was always coming to my house after that and asking me out. When I denied his advances, he insisted on going postal on my front yard, destroying a couple of rose bushes, tried ripping a tree out of the ground, stuff like that. The police were contacted and he was arrested for destruction of private property. He spent a short time in jail, that was that.

An online person that I used to speak to had some mental problems and I offended him (I won't get into that story) and he threatened to come to my house (Yeah, stupid me, gave him my address a couple years previous this incident.) and rape/kill me. He lived quite far from me so I wasn't too worried. Then, he moved a few hours from me. When I found that out, I contacted the FBI and filed a report, since the threats were still continuing and it constituted interstate stalking/harassment (Hence, contacting the FBI). He then moved around a 30 minute drive from me and I started to become really scared. I spoke with his girlfriend whom I was on okay terms with (She was the reason he moved 30 minutes from me) and she said he wouldn't really do it but she would talk to him. Also, the FBI contacted him and told him to cease contact with me. That was that. This one constitutes an online/real life stalker, in my opinion.

During all this, I was in a great friendship with someone online. He's from another country and we agreed to meet, so he came over and we hung out for awhile. After he left, I broke up with him, and he began eMailing me constantly, following me in chats, signing up for new eMails because I would block known eMails, stuff like that. I do and don't consider him a stalker. I never felt threatened by him, nor did he ever threaten me. I treated it more like a "Lost puppy" case.

I moved out of state and started a new life, new job, new home. The job brought on another stalker who found out where I lived, broke into my apartment, and was caught wearing my clothes while lying in my bed. He was arrested and I never heard from him again.

Another one, I'm not sure where our paths crossed, but he urinated on the door to my apartment, claiming to the cops he was "Marking his territory." He was arrested, as well, and I moved back to my original home.

The online friend and I weren't on speaking terms for awhile. During this time, he started a group to keep a vigilante group in check. I knew nothing about this. I knew pretty much nothing about either group, other than hearing in passing the name of the vigilante group. He meant a lot to me and I valued his friendship so we started talking again a year after we broke up. This is where he told me about his group and the vigilante group. No big deal.

Last year, I met a guy. He left a note on my car with his phone number on it. So, he and I started dating. It was an up and down relationship so I ended it after a couple months. Again, I still wanted to be friends so after a week to let things cool down, I called him and he told me he had a girlfriend, so I ceased contact. He continued to call me, and his girlfriend would get mad that he called me, so she'd call me.

One day in July of this year (2005), I Googled myself. I normally did this in random intervals just to check. Every previous time I've Googled myself, I've come up with nothing so the intervals became greater and greater. But, this time, I hit something. The vigilante group posted my full name, my addresses (Previous and current), my phone numbers, pictures of my house, my car, my license plate, my son. They posted addresses of my mother, brother, and father (Previous and current), phone numbers (Previous and current). I was horrified.

I knew how the vigilante group worked, as my friend told me a lot about what his group was doing, so I was scared, moreso for my son, my family.

This is when I started Mishaps of the Internet. Because most of my stalkers were real life and obviously broke the law, they were easier to deal with. The net, on the other hand, is a bit trickier. Privacy laws are a bit trickier. And the vigilante group had a far greater reach than my real life stalkers.

The way the vigilante group works is "If you're not with us, you're against us." mentality. My friend was "Against them" so, in order to try to stop him, they attacked any obvious target around him, which was me.

I didn't hear from ex or the girlfriend for almost a year. Then, he initiated contact again, telling me he and the girlfriend broke up, he was going into rehab, etc. I took his word on it and was supportive. I started getting calls from his girlfriend again threatening me, calls from him telling me he loves me and she's psychotic.

I was tired of it so I filed Civil Stalking Injunctions against them both. They got married while I was in the process of getting the CSIs. He contested it and it was reduced to a mutual Restraining Order. Apparently, they were suppose to move out of state awhile ago, but, I saw them the other day. That was my ex's big argument in court, "We're moving so I don't see why we have the CSIs/ROs." Right...

This is my story. This is a log of my trials and triumphs.

There's a massive hill down a ways that I've always loved driving on. Right at the top, there's a four-way stop, then a sharp decline into a valley, and a sharp incline going back up it, through a residential. The road eventually leads you right to the mountains to another major road. It's the long way to get to where I was going but, it's scenic. I've always loved driving it but have been avoiding it because my ex lives in the immediate area of the hill.

I figured he'd be at work and I would be safe to drive it, so I took it.

The car he drives is one I adore, I've always wanted one, I'm obsessed with the model of car. I'm always pointing them out, "Oh, look at that one! Isn't that cute?"

I saw one on my drive, a blue one, one my ex drives. They're not that uncommon, especially blue ones. So, I looked in admiration, not recognizing the passengers. I saw his sticker in the back window. It was my ex.

I began to panic.

Did he see me? If he did, does he wonder why I was in the area? Is he on his way to my house? Why isn't he at work? Should I turn around and follow him to make sure he's not going to my house? Should I ignore it? Should I plow my car into his?

I wanted to so bad.

But, I kept driving to my destination. He's not worth it.

I've been in a funk all day. I don't know if it was because of that. I was excrutiatingly cheerful before this happened. I need to move *SO* bad.

It took me 20 minutes to think of this title.

I ran around and spoke with two lawyers, each not capable of handling my case, but I didn't know who else to talk to. One told me to contact the Attorney General, which I've already done and got brushed off. The other gave me a number for another lawyer, said he does speeches about technology and privacy online, so he'd be more suited to understand the situation. I called him earlier and left a message asking if he could call me back. We'll see what happens.

The second lawyer told me that I would most likely have to do an ROR, but wasn't 100% sure. I figured I would probably have to. I just want to avoid it as much as possible. LOL.

Everyone I've actually spoken to has no idea about the net, the group, etc. So, I don't think anyone really understands how desperate I am. One officer I spoke to brushed me off when I initially spoke with him, but called me the next day saying he checked out the group and was horrified, but other than that, he had no idea what I had to do.

I just want someone to tell me what I have to do, be it send an ROR, be it take them to civil court, whatever. I'm just tired of not knowing what I need to do, and tired of everyone not knowing what I need to do, and brushing me off as just some neurotic that's taking things too seriously. Blah...

Maybe I am taking it too seriously. But, it's not like my reaction is unwarranted and irrational. Maybe they're just not empathizing. I mean, how would you feel if some violent vigilante group posted your full name, all your addresses (Previous and current), your phone number(s), your entire family's information, pictures of your house, your car, your license plate? Someone tell me I'm insane and I'll check myself into an asylum.

Insanity: Inability to understand the nature and purpose of a punishment to which one has been sentenced.

I don't understand the purpose of my "Punishment".

Maybe I am insane...

Right Of Reply.

So, I'm scared. Like that's news. LOL. I'm scared that I'm going to have to write a letter, or eMail, to the group who has all my information up. I don't want to. God, I don't want to.

The group offers a right of reply to everyone they post. I know how the group functions. I know that everyone who has ever used the ROR that the group posts the ROR and does not remove the information. And, in most times, sending an ROR makes matters worse.

The last post about me was last year, I found out about all this in July of this year. I'm afraid if I ROR, then it'll bring me back into the forefront and the attacks will begin again.

I'm at the point that I don't care what they have up about me. I don't care. But, they have my entire family up, and that is what hurts me the most.

I'm definitely going to speak with an attorney before I send any ROR, or have any contact with the group. I'm trying to prepare myself in case I do have to ROR. I'm so scared.

I hate confrontations. I would rather have some lawyer tell me "Okay, here's what I'll do for you. Here's who you need to contact, they'll handle everything. All you have to do is explain the sitatuation." But, of course, that would be entirely too easy.

I hate doing this.

Thank you.

So, good news. Blogger no longer thinks I'm a spam-bot, and I have been whitelisted...Finally. :) (Thank you, Blogger people!)

I am totally obsessed and addicted with Blog Explosion. And, well, it's making me slack off on my other duties. If you've come to this blog through BE, or have seen me in the SB, or, whatever brought you here. I thank you, and welcome you.

Enough mushy stuff, right? Time to get down to business. I will be in contact with an attorney *SOON*. This means at the very latest, Monday I will have spoken with an attorney. We'll see how well I can hold up to this promise, and what happens in the process.

The attorney I have in mind is not affiliated with what I need help in, but, I'm hoping since we do have a history that he'll make a few calls for me and hook me up with one who can help.

Secondly, I'm trying to get one of my favorite news sites to give me feed to them. All the news I get comes from The Missing Amendment. A very well put together site.

Lastly, I'm juggling a lot of stuff personally outside of this. Which, again I say, I've been slacking because of BE. (Yes, I blame BE for me not doing anything other than this! ;) So, one of these days, I may have to take a hiatus away from the computer so I can organize the stuff going on in my life.

The junk in my life isn't bad, just time consuming. That's a bonus. For once, not everything in my life is slaughtering my emotional strength. Maybe I'll start getting around to it after this post, and maybe a news post. We'll see how The Missing Amendment is doing.

Aside from all that, uneventful. Well, not exactly uneventful. But, I'll save that news for another entry.

Thank you, everyone who has commented. I'm glad you enjoy the layouts. :) I hope I can help at least one person who might be in a bad spot and doesn't know where to turn for help. Let me know if you have any suggestions.

A new beginning.

Yes, it's true. I have a new blog, kinda. Fret not, it's the same thing, and the old blog has been archived. You can still view it, though.

The fact is, Blogger does not supply categories. So, I've had to find a way around this, which I have, and now we have categories. This saves me from manually entering a lot of stuff. Also, it keeps the blog quite more organized. Go categories!

New layouts, as well. I've been procrastinating getting rid of the stupid girly floral layout I had on the archived blog, and now it's gone...Thankfully.

I had a girl in a chat approach me. I don't know why she picked me out of the crowd of people in the room, but she PMed me. She asked if I could help her, and I replied that I could try. The thing with the room is you must ask in the main room before you PM someone. Nice little rule, I think. Secondly, I let PMs in (Without asking first) when someone has a technical question about the chat, which this wasn't. This was far more serious.

The girl explained to me that her ex had taken pics of her children, not his, and put them up in his Yahoo profile, along with their ages and other identifying information. She was a lost cause and had no idea where to turn.

With my experience of my cyber-stalkers posting the pictures and name and age and what have you of my child, I knew exactly where to tell her to go. I directed her to COPPA, I directed her to several of Yahoo's contact listings and told her to eMail every one of them.

She came back into the room today, I asked her to keep me updated, and told me that the police were finally listening to her when she told them she had spoken to COPPA. That Yahoo is investigating, and has removed the profile. I'm so happy for her! :) I am so glad it worked out so excellently for her. I hope she doesn't have any more problems with this guy, 'cause he sounds like a real jerk.

Other than that, nothing much happening. I'm glad it's been slow. I've found a new friend who treats me like a human. I know that's not saying much but, it's been awhile since I've been treated as an equal, without any games, without any lies. He makes me smile just thinking about him and I'm very glad to have him in my life.